My Posse, My Way!

Hey friends! Sorry I didn't post yesterday, but I was wiped out from the previous days' activities. Seems Christmas sucks the life out of you! But all was good, I had a wonderful couple of days, it was so worth it. Sam enjoyed watching us tearing open his presents, and he helped a little bit. Just a sweet time for everyone.
Today was the first day of my second round of chemo. I got to actually go to the HemOc center instead of being admitted to the hospital this time, so that was a tremendous advantage to this visit. I didn't have to worry about showing my undies through the fabulous hospital gown, or listening to my college neighbor making out with her boyfriend at the end of visiting hours! Score for me!
The HemOc nurses are seriously the sweetest. I swear that part of their interview process is they have to smile at all times. But not inappropriate, aggressive smiling like a newscaster. Smiling and meaning it. I even got FREE ANIMAL CRACKERS! HELLO! Awesome! In all seriousness, the people there are so caring of their empathy is so evident.
Looking around, I saw many people who didn't have a "posse" with them like I do at all times. It made me feel incredibly sad and very lucky at the same time. I couldn't imagine going through this fight alone. They sat in silence, their ports plugged into their IV poles, which isn't exactly the most practical thing to walk around with. At least I have someone with me to help me wind up the chord and make sure I don't rip my port out when I have to use the bathroom! (Although sometimes, two sets of hands is even more confusing and we end up looking like we are dancing with Ivy my IV). And we often end up just kinda staring at each other because that's just how we do. However, tomorrow I am going with two of my funniest friends Jimmy Monto and Mary Suehs.....I expect it to be wait for it.....EPIC. Tune in tomorrow for that story. It was just awful to see people who had to ride in a cab there or didn't have anyone to reassure them in their corner. It makes me want to share part of my posse. Spread my cheering section. Make them smile.
You see I have my husband holds my hand every night when we go to bed, just to me that hshow me he is there, not just tell me. My mom, bless her, works and still makes sure she is at my appointments and attempts to keep herself together and not break. It's ok to break sometimes, Mom I do it too. My dad, he can't stand to see any of this going on to his first baby. I know he cries when I'm not looking, and I understand why he can't go with me to chemo. But he helps by watching Sammy and having a good time with him. My sisters have taken multiple days off from work, driven hours with little sleep (Kathryn Mary) just to be by my side and holding my hand and to cry with me. Jamie bought me a karaoke machine that allows me to have fun and lifts the depression when I need a laugh. Kathryn has consulted with transplant doctors at Johns Hopkins just to try and fix me! My aunts, who check on me daily, tell me how proud of me they are, and how brave I am. My uncles who visited me in the hospital, hugged me tight and pray for me. My cousins, the ones I grew up with, and the ones who are older but still love me. They have kept me close in thought and cheered me on. And finally, my friends, near and far, ones I saw yesterday and ones I haven't seen since 1996, I have you all in my corner with your dukes up, ready to fight with me! Then there are the strangers, the ones that have learned of my fight through these friends, who are adding their prayers and positive thoughts to the chain across the nation and donating money to someone they haven't even met.
How do you repay all these acts of kindness, the empathy, the love that all of you have shown? I don't know the answer, other than to fight this great fight with everything I have. I will continue to sing (off-key of course) and dance and laugh my way out of this mess. I will still be me. I will not let this get me, or change my inside. As long as I have my posse behind me in spirit and in reality, I cannot be defeated. We got this, Team Jodie! We got this.